CHAPTER 70
LOGAN’S POV
I walked back to my chambers, still feeling somewhat annoyed that she shut her door on my face. On getting inside my chambers, I was surprised to see Heather completely awake.
“Where were you?” She asked, and I released a sigh. Contemplating if I should tell her the truth about coming from Audrey’s room, or if I should lie. I truly wasn’t ready for another round of misunderstanding tonight. How come that was all we did these days? Quarrel.
“I went to see Audrey.” I truthfully answered.
“I know. I could smell her on you.” She nodded. “Come join me already.” She gestured for me to come to the bed. Did she just act like that was nothing? I mean, considering the fact that I left bed to go see Audrey. Nonetheless, I was thankful for the calm.
I laid beside her, and she inched closer to me, placing her head on my chest. All the while, my mind kept replaying the scene where Audrey and Ares were laughing together. Fuck!
Why couldn’t I just get that off my mind? I hated this crippling feeling it resonated within me. What was my business if she was with other men?
The anger I felt after that question, only told me that everything was my business. She was my damn mate! She wasn’t supposed to be….. She even shut the door on my face! Was that how she planned to fight for my love?
Why did I feel like she really didn’t accept my apology? And why did I still feel so guilty?
“You’re unusually tensed.” Heather whispered to me. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine.” I didn’t want to sound cold, but I couldn’t help it. “Just stressed.” I sighed, hoping she’d take the initiative and drop the topic, but boy, was I wrong.
“I understaaannnd.” Her voice came out, sounding so sultry. The next minute, I could feel her hand hovering around my chest, as she started to kiss my neck. “Hmmmm…. you smell so good. You always do.”
“Heather, please not now.”
“What do you mean?” She stopped her ministrations, to look up at me. “We haven’t been intimate since your mate showed up here. Are you now avoiding this because of her?”
“Heather, you said it.” I sighed, quickly getting off the bed and startling her. “She’s my mate. I may do other hurtful things to her, but I wouldn’t do this.”
The goddess had put me in this very compromising situation, but I wasn’t going to make a fool out of myself. This was the very same reason I had been so bitter for 5 years. The thought that she had let another man touch her body. Same body that was supposed to be mine! I wasn’t about to be a hypocrite by doing the same with Heather.
“You still love her.” Heather gasped, making me glare at her.
“Stop spewing rubbish, Heather.” I grunted.
“If that isn’t the case, then you wouldn’t….”
“You wouldn’t manipulate me into having sex with you, Heather. It’s not happening.”
“Really? Then why am I here?! You say I’m your girlfriend, but you wouldn’t even touch me! What’s the point? Why are you still together with me?”
“Because I don’t want to hurt you! You’re my friend! I can’t break up with you, for the fear of hurting you!” I burst out.
“I thought you wanted me to be your Luna?” She asked, her voice terribly shaking. Oh goddess!
“Heather, my mate is here, and I have to put my kingdom first. I can’t keep doing these back and forths.”
“Are you breaking up with me, Logan?” She asked, tears threatening to drop from her eyes. I could feel myself hurting as well.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered.
“So you choose her? Over me?” She asked in disbelief. “After she hurt you?”
“I choose my kingdom, Heather. My people need their true Luna.” I sighed, hoping she’d understand. But that was a farfetched wish. The next minute, she was walking out of my chambers in anger.
‘You did the right thing’. My wolf mumbled.
‘How can the right thing cause another, so much pain?’ I replied flatly, and went back to my bed. I laid down and just then, the gravity of what had happened began to weigh on me. I just broke up with Heather!
**
“Ahhhh!! Logaaaannnn….” She moaned lightly, as I drove wildly into her. The water cascading down our bodies, suddenly didn’t feel so real anymore. I opened my eyes to see it was a dream. Again.
For a week now, I had constantly dreamt about the last time she and I had sex. It was driving me crazy because I always woke up with a boner. That was partly the reason I accepted for Heather to come spend the night with me, yesterday. I wanted to see if her presence was going to block off these silly dreams but sadly, things had turned out the way they did last night.
“Enjoyed your dream?” I looked up to see Isla sitting on the couch beside my bed, and smiling at me.
“Come on Islaaaa….” I sighed. “How did you even get in here?
“Is that a question?”
“Sorry.” I sighed.
“I’m the sorry one.” She muttered. There was a moment of silence between us, before she spoke. “You didn’t bother to ask why I did what I did, a few days back.”
“You had come out to confess your wrongs. That must have been such a bold step, knowing you’ve never really liked Audrey. So I wanted to give you time to get over your embarrassment and then, talk to me.”
“Thank you for being so considerate Logan. I really do feel ashamed over my actions. And I don’t dislike Audrey. Not anymore.”
I eyed her closely, wanting to know what this was about. Was Audrey busy garnering the support of others?
“She may have hurt you, but she isn’t a bad person.” Isla began. Wait….. was this the same Isla I knew? The one who taunted me for having remained celibate for over 2 years after I rejected Audrey? The one who made me have my first sex after rejection? “Don’t look at me that way, people change. And I’m saying this in respect to all of us.”
“Isla…”
“Logan, there are certain things you really do not know, but I’m not in the position to speak to you about it. Certain things that may clean up this bitterness you carry.”
“I know you were hurt, but you have to be careful now. Why? Because you are slowly becoming the very thing you hated. Don’t let your anger turn you into someone you’re not. Audrey is your Luna, and she deserves every respect from you. The way you treat her, is what determines how the rest of the pack see her. But then again, Audrey’s kindness is just out there for all to see. So in this case, instead of making your people hate her, you’d make them hate you for treating your Luna poorly than she deserves. You have to fix your ways. You can’t be messing things up, and expect her to keep cleaning up after you.”Exclusive content from NôvelDrama.Org.
“Because the truth remains that underneath all of that angry and hateful facade, is a man who is still helplessly in love with his mate.”
“That’s not true.” I swallowed, really wanting to believe my own words.
“You don’t even believe yourself.” She chuckled. “You treat her so badly because you’re scared to become vulnerable and weak. You’re scared to get hurt again. Others may not see through it, but I do. And that is why you stand by the window of your study everyday, watching her every move while she trains. Aren’t you tired of hiding those feelings? You want to break her, hoping it would satisfy your hurt, but you would only turn out to be more dissatisfied than you were, after you rejected her. You would end up hurting yourself.”
“I broke up with Heather last night.” I found myself saying, and her eyes widened in shock.
“For real?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I truly do not know how I feel about it….” What was I even doing? “I shouldn’t be talking about this.” I made to stand up, but she held me down.
“That is the problem. For 5 years, you haven’t wanted to talk about it, and that is why you feel like others do not understand how you feel. It is because you keep everything bottled up, and don’t get to really see things in another person’s point of view. Please talk to me.” She pleaded.
“Am I a bad person for feeling relieved after breaking up with her? But I also feel bad for hurting her….. I just have these mixed feelings.”
“It’s normal. Your ability to relate to her hurt, makes you far from being a bad person. And it is understandable you feel relieved, considering the pressure to put your kingdom first. But then again, to make your break up with Heather worthwhile, you have to try and make your relationship with your mate work. Let go of this anger, and embrace a new future together. It would take a lot of time, but it would be worth it.”
***
I flipped through the pages of the book I was reading, not interested to go watch the soldiers train. I had already peeped through my window, and Audrey wasn’t there. Even while I read, my mind kept thinking of the possible reasons why she hadn’t shown up for training. I wanted to go to her room, but decided against it. I didn’t want to come off as desperate. I tried to focus on my book once more, and suddenly, I began to hear screams and yells from the training grounds. This didn’t sound like they were training. It sounded like two people were fighting.
I quickly rushed to the window and what I saw was disappointing. Heather and another soldier were fighting? It seemed to be that Denver had just come in to separate them.
‘Bruno!’ I mindlinked the guard stationed at my study.
‘Yes, your majesty’.
‘Go to the training ground immediately. I want the people causing the ruckus, to be brought to my study now!’ He probably didn’t understand what was going on because he definitely couldn’t hear their ruckus from here, but did as I instructed anyway.
A few minutes later, and they were all walking into my office. Denver, Marcus, Heather, and the familiar looking soldier. She was always around Audrey. I sat silently for quite a while, looking at the faces of everyone in the room, one after the other.
“What was the reason for such behaviour?!” I thundered eventually, and Heather rushed out.
“She hit me!!” Heather pointed at Dalia. “How much more disrespectful could Audrey’s soldiers be? The audacity.”
“Leave Audrey out of this.” I subtly warned, and Denver gave a confused look.
“Your majesty…” The soldier went on her knees. “I’m sorry, but…..” She was still talking when the door to my study flung open, and a raging Audrey marched in, with another soldier behind her.
I was still trying to understand the reason for such an entrance, when she made her way straight to Heather and landed a slap on her face. Oh, goddess!
“Don’t push me!!” She growled.
“Audrey, what the hell are you….?” I was talking when she cut me off.
“Shut the fuck up, Logan!!” She yelled out angrily, provoking me in the process. Did she realize that these people present, were my subjects? “Dalia, rise!!” She yelled her command to the soldier, who looked between both of us. Even though I hadn’t asked her to kneel, I thought it was extremely disrespectful for Audrey to have done what she did.
“Logan, did you see what she just did to me?!” Heather cried out, pointing at her slightly swollen cheek.
“Call my mate one more time and I swear, both sides of your face would be inflamed.” Audrey warned. How could she be so disrespectful, yet trying to be possessive? That was it!
“The rest of you, leave!!” I blew out in rage. Only this woman had the capacity to bring out the worst in me. “Now!”
I waited for them to leave, before turning to Audrey. “How dare you?” I asked, but she simply stuck her chin up, in defiance. “How dare you humiliate me in front of my subordinates?”
“Logan, they are my soldiers! I wouldn’t let you treat them unfairly, just because your girlfriend asked you to!”
Treat them unfairly?! I wasn’t treating anyone unfairly. I was still trying to get to the root of the problem, when she burst in.
“She disrespected Heather.”
“And did you care to confirm the story?” She asked. “Heather called me a harlot! And Dalia couldn’t take such an insult.”
“Is it really an insult?” I shot back immediately.
Oh, shit! That had come out wrongly. The next thing I knew, my head flung the other way, as a result of her heavy slap. I was seeing red in that moment.
I turned and made my way towards her, anger the most primary feeling in my mind. She was aggravating my beast, and I could feel it clawing to come forth, despite the unwillingness of my wolf. As I made my way towards her, she continued to move backwards. I didn’t think twice, before rushing towards her, and pushing her to the bookshelf behind.
“Logan please.” She whimpered, tears in her eyes. Immediately I saw those tears, my wolf cried in pain.
‘You’re terrifying our mate!’ Oh shit.
“Logan.” She called out to me again, sounding frightened. In that moment, the only thing I thought about, was how to erase this horrible scene that had just played out before her eyes. I was never supposed to unleash that side of myself, against her. But she just had a way of grating on my last nerves!
It was just supposed to be a kiss, but the moment I pulled her close and smashed my lips against hers, I lost it. I fought the urge to groan at how soft her lips felt against mine, and I couldn’t believe how much I had been starving. Now, I just felt hungry.
At first, she wasn’t responding to my kisses, but after a while, she did. I felt her hand cup my cheeks, and I grew excited at the thought that she wanted me too. I was going crazy, and I couldn’t help it. I wanted her so baaad. I have wanted her badly for years. I kissed along her neck and reveled in the pleasure her sighs gave me.
“You aggravating woman. I would teach you a good lesson.” I growled into her ear, as she panted so hard. She hadn’t seen it coming, when I lifted her off the floor, and carried her onto the desk in my study.
She had subconsciously spread her thighs apart, making me hurriedly zip down my trousers. I knew this was a very risky place or time to do this, but the thought alone excited me. I pulled her closer and let my hands travel under the dress she wore. Then, I hooked my fingers around her panties, tearing them off. Her eyes widened in shock, and she swallowed visibly.
“Don’t make a sound.” I muttered. And just as if someone had tapped her into consciousness, she suddenly pushed me off.
“Get off me, you infuriating man!” She yelled out, suddenly tearing up. “You really think I’m a slut, don’t you?” She chuckled bitterly as she hopped off the desk, trying to put her torn panties in place. “I’m so stupid.” She muttered underneath her breathe as she rushed out of my study, leaving me feeling so remorseful. This woman was easily getting through to me now, and I couldn’t even help it.