Absinthe

Chapter 55: XANAOL

I savored the last spoonful of Sizzling Plate's distinct yellow rice mixed with their sisig. I could taste the

sharp tanginess brought about by the splash of calamansi, the sweetness of perfectly wilted onions,

and that distinct and heavenly taste of properly sautéed pork.

I closed my eyes as I swallowed it, still unable to believe that I waited 9 months before finally ordering a

Filipino dish I so loved! Curse Maxwell and our gourmet food creations! Filipino Pork Sisig beats any of

those, any given day!

Then there was that familiar snap of a camera shot.

I opened my eyes and found Jiwoo, busy typing a caption for another IG post, this time, with just my

face on.

I launched the app on my phone once again, went to @g_whooo's page and saw the post.

I'll cook nothing but the best food just to see this face, every day for the rest of my life.

I wasn't tagged in the photo. Nor was my name mentioned in his post. But my IG handle kept popping

in the comments section as people expressed how envious they are that I won their sweetheart's

affection.

I couldn't bring myself to read what hideous comments Jiwoo's fans and admirers would have put

there. They're probably saying that someone like me doesn't deserve Jiwoo. That I'm only using my

money to seduce him.

That it's better off for the planet that I allow Jiwoo to spread his genes far and wide.

People can be fucked up and cruel. Or rather, people are that much fucked up and cruel, most of the

time.

"Look at this," Jiwoo said, tapping my shoulder. "I don't get it. This person commented with a picture of

a drug."

"I don't get it," I told Jiwoo as soon as I saw it.

"That means XANAOL," said a familiar effeminate voice.

Jiwoo and I turned to see the very same gay comedian who hosted the selection event for Chef

Maxwell's classes.

"Oh, I get it!" Jiwoo said before he burst out laughing.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"The name of the drug sounds like SANA ALL," Vanilla explained. "You know, that's pretty much the in

slang of today's youth."

"SANA ALL?" I asked. "Like they wish the same for everyone?"

"Exactly!" Vanilla commented. "The person who posted that comment simply meant he wishes

everyone had the same hot boyfriend."

"Look, Vanilla," Jiwoo said. "BJ's blushing that someone finds him hot."

"Yes, BJ! I feel the same way!" Vanilla said excitedly. "SANA ALL! I hope all of us have hot boyfriends

the way you and Jiwoo have each other!"

"I doubt that," I answered back, "You guys are overvaluing my looks. I think the commenter simply

meant they wish they had a hot boyfriend like Jiwoo. They're commenting on Jiwoo's post, after all."

"I'm not going to argue with you." Vanilla said, obviously annoyed. "Believe what you want to believe.

It's so fucking annoying when someone really cute acts like he's not aware of it! So pretentious!"

Jiwoo had to literally push my jaw back in place as I was left aghast by that insult from Vanilla. And I

couldn't do anything but watch his hips sway as he catwalked from us towards the food court's exit.

"The guy who posted that comment," Jiwoo started. "I checked his profile. "He says he's a top and is

into twinks."

"I'm not a twink!" I said indignantly.

"Yes, you are." Jiwoo said. "You're cute and you're small and your skin is smooth and your legs are

hairless and shapely and..."

Jiwoo stopped speaking abruptly and closed his eyes. "Fuck, I got hard just thinking about your legs."

I slapped Jiwoo's shoulder and laughed. "Stop joking, you pervert!"

Jiwoo's eyes remained close and his facial expression was that of someone concentrating hard on ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

solving a particularly difficult calculus problem.

"Don't touch me, I might not be able to stop myself."

I laughed harder at his continued insistence that he's having an erection. Finally, Jiwoo opened his

eyes and gives me a smile that almost made my heart skip a beat.

"I'm going to smash that JM's face when I see him again. It's his fault you're having these confidence

problems."

This time, my heart literally skipped a few beats.

"I.. I'm sorry." I said, turning my face towards the elderly couple. I've forgotten that they were still sitting

there.

"Young man, you are very handsome." The elderly lady said. "Are you two boyfriends?"

"Yes, lola." Jiwoo answered enthusiastically.

"Manuel, meet this lovely couple!" the elderly lady said, addressing the elderly man beside her.

The elderly man did nothing save for a polite nod back to us. It was also the first time I noticed their

meal. They shared a small plate of rice and stewed monggo beans. Their meal must have cost less

than two hundred pesos because they didn't even get a free banana.

"Lola, lolo, where do you live? What brings you here to the mall?" Jiwoo asked them, an expression of

utmost sincere curiosity on his face.

"Well, son, today's our golden anniversary," the elderly lady admitted, blushing heavily despite the

many folds and wrinkles on her face. "We thought of celebrating it, even just a little."

"Wow! What a coincidence!" Jiwoo exclaimed. "You're not going to believe this but today's our

anniversary, too! Technically it's not an anniversary yet, since today's our first day as a couple!"

"Really?" the elderly lady clapped. "That's good to hear! You look really good together. Two handsome

boys deeply in love! My word!"

"But you have to tell us your secret to reaching your golden anniversary, lola!" Jiwoo said, his smile

was so wide I swear it could almost reach his ears. "I want to make sure BJ and I last that long..."

I gave Jiwoo an annoyed look and rolled my eyes. He put his arm around my shoulder again, winked at

me, and turned back to face the elderly couple in front of us.

"I want to do everything to make our relationships last as long as yours did, if not longer." Jiwoo said.

The elderly woman looked at her husband and smiled back to us. "I guess there is one thing that I

could advise you on."

Jiwoo's eyes widened again in genuine curiosity, his grip on my shoulders getting tighter.

"People tend to think of the worst," she began. "if your spouse forgets your birthday, it's easy to

assume that the love is no longer there, or worst, he has someone else."

Jiwoo's eyes were fixed on the old lady's own, milky brown ones.

"Or if your spouse failed to kiss you goodnight, or return your call, or ask you about how your day

was... it's easy for the other to assume the worst," the elder lady gave both Jiwoo and I a weak smile

before she continued. "I guess my advice is don't assume the worst – ask instead. Ask. Talk. Touch.

Nobody's perfect and your spouse will never be perfect. There will be times you'd feel like you're not

loved anymore. Ask. Ask and hear the words out."

"That's great advice, grandma." Jiwoo said. "My boyfriend here always thinks he's not cute enough for

me. He should follow your advice and ask me every day how handsome I think he is, right?"

Grandma laughs heartily and reaches out to touch Jiwoo's cheeks. I wanted to tell her that Jiwoo, too,

always thinks he's not buying me enough fancy things, but I decided to leave that out for now.

I noticed that grandma was suddenly crying. I looked over to see that her husband, too, was sobbing

hard, mouth open in an effort to breathe more, hands in his chest.

"Lolo, are you okay?" I said, breaking the silence.

The elderly man nods but cries even harder, grasping at his chest more frantically.

"It's our fault," the elderly lady said. "It's our fault our son left us."

Lolo and lola's faces were wet with tears and contorted with grief. Lola was now holding lolo's arms,

trying to stop him from beating the shit out of his chest.

"We couldn't accept him," the elderly lady stuttered heavily. "We threw him out of the house when he

told us he was gay."

"Samuel!" screamed the elderly man, still clutching his chest heavily, barely able to breathe through all

those sobs.

"We miss him so much," lola said. "We thought it was wrong. We thought people like you were wrong.

Forgive us. Forgive us, please! Forgive us!"

"We're sorry, Samuel," the grandpa said, reaching out for Jiwoo's face. "Forgive us, Samuel."