Always Been You

~Lola’s POV~

I sat down and continued to read the story to them, and during that time, they were all attentive and asked a lot of questions. I don’t understand what the problem is with me. I am busy reading this story, but my mind is not here. I have a lot on my mind right now, including the man who says he is my husband, but turned me down when I suggested that we start over together. I mean, I am trying with the kids, and despite the fact that I can’t remember any of this, we should be able to make it work.

“Alright, kids, that’s all for today. Your lunch will be ready shortly.” After I had finished speaking, both of them got to their feet and walked over to where I was standing so that they could kiss me. It is a fantastic feeling. Being a parent sounds like an incredible experience to me. But I can’t really tell what happened to me that day in Mr. Monroe’s study.

How did I know what he liked, his favorite color too?

Someone called out to me as I was still trying to figure out how in the world I knew that. “Lola,” the person said to me. When I turned around, Mia was looking at me in a tender way while saying, “I love you.” I felt like crying when she said that to me, but I brushed it off.

“I love you too, Mia.” She bolted for the door and followed her brother outside.

“You don’t have to try so hard to remember, you know; it will just happen naturally.” He said as he eyed me. This man makes me feel so small in his presence, just like Dante, but Antonio is very friendly and likes to joke around. After placing the file he was holding on one of the shelves, he turned and began to leave the room.

“Do you think he hates me?” I started, and he immediately stopped in his tracks and glanced at me.

“Who?”NôvelDrama.Org holds © this.

“Mr. Monroe?” I said.

“You mean your husband?” he asked, and I nodded. He came back and stood right in front of me, and I patted the empty space beside me. “What gives you the impression that he actually hates you?”

“He rejected me yesterday when I proposed that we start afresh and see where it leads us?” I said, and he looked at me, somehow not surprised.

“Do you blame him for rejecting that offer? I mean, a good number of average men would jump at the chance to take advantage of that offer.” I shook my head, and he went on and said, “That man loves you; you don’t even remember him; you have no memory whatsoever.” That was a statement made by him, and it was accurate.

“We can make new memories, but he just didn’t want me. He told me to put my needs ahead of anyone else’s. How am I supposed to prioritize my own needs when there are children involved? It is no longer pertinent to discuss myself. When you have children, it is impossible to choose what you want to do with your life.” I attempted to explain it to him in the hope that he would get it.

“It’s possible that he wants you to learn more about yourself before you make any decisions regarding your love life. Don’t forget there is still the Janet, name issue, and the fact that even when you are his wife, you are also Doctor Blackwood’s fiancé.” I formed a frown.

I am aware that I do not recall anything, but that particular part is highly improbable; how is it possible for someone who is already married to become engaged? Wasn’t I supposed to get a divorce before I could start over with someone else? Mason has told me that he purchased the ring that I am currently wearing, and Dante has told me the same thing. Who among the two is telling the truth? Dante told me he would give me our wedding pictures. If at all, Mason is my fiancé, he should have pictures of our engagement.

“I don’t really feel connected to Mason, not in that way. But with Mr. Monroe, it’s like I have known him forever, and still, I feel like he is not a straightforward man. While Mason is open about anything and everything,”

“Are you able to kiss Mason without getting the impression that something is off?” Even though he asked, I never have sexual relations with Mason; however, I do kiss him; however, the act of having sexual relations with him is something that I simply cannot bring myself to do. Simply put, I can’t go to bed with him. I mean, he’s a really nice guy, but when it comes to that particular aspect, my body doesn’t react very well. He went on to say, “Who do you want? Search your heart and know who between the two feels right.”, he said.

“Mr. Monroe feels a bit right, but he doesn’t want me.” I started.

“Seduce him to want more of you; make him crave you till he gives in to temptation.” I blush; this man is going to put me in trouble.

“I am completely clueless when it comes to the art of seduction,” I responded in all sincerity,

“We’re going shopping.” He ordered, and I looked at him,

I was curious, so I asked, “With you?”

“Is there something that’s not quite right about that?” I smiled and shook my head. “Get ready,” he said as he was leaving, and I began to gather the toys and put them in their appropriate locations as soon as I heard him say that. When I reached one of the shelves, I found a file that seemed to be the one that Antonio was carrying, but it didn’t look that way. I saw him walking out carrying a file. I saw him go back to the same shelf and take out this file; maybe he left another file there. When I removed it, it promptly landed on the ground. The paper was being blown around by the breeze that was coming in through the window, and as it did so, it began to curl ever so slightly. I went bent down to pick it up and I saw a report; it was about Mason. I flipped through the pages of that damn document while I read each and every word: Mason Blackwood lost his practicing license and forged the license when he returned to the state; he was a doctor in Canada; I read it all about how he drugged a married woman and made her pregnant; my eyes widened as the realization hit me. Mavis, why does this name sound familiar? I ignore it and move on. After I had finished reading that piece of garbage for good, I realized that I had a lot of unanswered questions.

Is Mason really my fiancé, or did he drug me and make me believe we were engaged?