50: Leaving again
50: Leaving again
Sophia's POV
My mouth hung open while I looked around the room. If I said I was shocked, that was a huge understatement. The room was painted in purple and white giving off the vibe of a princess bed. If only, it wasn't. I wasn't a princess.
The remainder left a bitter taste in my mouth. I wasn't loved here no matter how much I tried to convince myself otherwise. But no matter how much I looked at it, I wanted to be here because the bigger part of me felt like I belonged here.
"Do you like the room?" Orion asked me and I smiled without giving him an answer but was sure as hell my facial expressions must have given me away. I was in awe of the room.
And I recalled what Orion and I talked about before. It was about Alexander thinking so much about me. I had wanted to ask him more about it but I knew it would be stacking up lies against one another. Something I wasn't prepared for no matter how much my heart craved to believe what he said.
As I stood in the middle of the room with Orion's eyes on me, I placed my bag on the floor and turned around to him, "You don't have to wait for me to see my reaction. I like the room. It's… nice," And lovely, what I had always wished for as a child. I almost said.
"Okay, if you say so. In case you need anything, I would be in the room to the left. Just knock and I will answer you."
I gave a short nod while I looked away from him. He knew I wouldn't call for him and I would be gone sooner or later. I'd figured I would need good food and a little bit of rest if I were to take up my journey to another pack. Or worse, to the human town.
I cringed at the thought of going there. Never would I ever want to be amongst the humans but I knew it was better than being here. At least there, no one would be able to give me the look of scorn or something close to that.
I let my feet take me to the bed, where I imagined I would get a good sleep and some rest if ever I felt like it.
"Why?" Orion's voice stopped me before I could take another step. I swiveled around and found him by the door, his hand across his chest, intrigue dancing in his eyes.
"Why what?" Although I knew exactly what he was talking about, acting dumb gave me more time to think about a response. Of course, I wouldn't be telling him the real reason I left Ryven's pack. Published by Nôv'elD/rama.Org.
I promised Ava that what happened in the cell would stay between the three of us. I contemplated telling Orion the truth about leaving Ryven. But I figured it was of no use.
"You know what I mean," Orion said and I blushed hard in embarrassment because he read me like an open book.
"Nothing. I just wanted to leave."
"And Ryven let you? Just like that?" He asked with disbelief and amusement dripping from his voice.
"Yes? I have a right to leave whenever I want to. I begged him and he let me go."
"Do you have any idea how that sounds? I know you don't even believe yourself," he said and walked into the room again, closing the door behind him while I cursed under my breath.
"That's what happened. Believe it or not."
"And I choose not to believe it. When you want to talk about it, you know where to find me. But for now, take care of yourself. You would need the energy later," he said and walked out of the room and I released the breath I didn't know I had been holding. And then my legs found their way to the bed.
I stood up quickly, resisting the urge to sleep on it, and walked to the bathroom. My mouth almost dropped to the floor. I was supposed to be used to this by now but I couldn't because I could never imagine my life this way in Alexander's pack. But Ryven had given me this much, yet he was a total douchebag.
So also was Alexander.
I quickly got into the bath, soaking myself in hot water for a few minutes while I tried to make heads or tails why I was here. Was I that desperate for love? The answer was no. But why did I come back to Alexander despite what he did to me? Despite knowing he had let me be bullied when he knew I was his mate.
I knew that was why I was here. To get answers for all that happened in the past, only then would I be able to rest. Before I leave the pack, I would defile Alexander once again and go to him. I would ask him all that had been bothering me.
I stayed in the bath until the water almost turned cold. Getting out of it quickly, I changed into a new pair of skinny jeans and a big blue baggy sweater.
While combing my hair, I heard the door open. I thought it would be Orion once again until the smell of Alexander hit my nose and I stiffened. I hated how much power he had over me. His scent made heat pool in my lower belly and I imagined what would have happened if he hadn't asked me to leave.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath to calm myself down but it did little to dull the ache that had started between my legs. It was beginning to grow when Alexander walked into the room, his presence overbearing. It felt like the air had been dragged out of the room and I was left panting.
While in his office, I tried to ignore it and to a certain extent, I could but right now, in the bedroom where the soft bed was waiting for me, for us, I felt the walls I built breaking.
"Why are you here? I'll be gone soon. No need to remind me once again," I said, the sound of it tasting bitter on my lips.
"Stay," Alexander said and I whipped my head so fast to look at him. Not because of shock but because of anger. The arousal that was building up in me died while fierce anger took its place.
"Who do you think you are to order me around? I'm leaving and that's it," I seethed in rage and his face was left emotionless. Bastard. It pained me greatly that I wasn't able to know what he was feeling.
Was he feeling regret? Jealousy like Orion had said? Or was he sad about letting me go and being unable to stop me now?
"I'm sorry," he said and I had to be sure he was the one speaking and not some other person hiding in the room. My heart gave a stupid leap in my chest as I stared at him.
The voice that came out of him was wrung with emotions. So much of it. It was like all the emotions he had buried in him came rushing at that single sentence but it carried a lot of weight. I was almost tempted to run into his arms and tell him everything would be fine.
How foolish that was of me. But I couldn't help it when he stood there looking at me like his world was about to be taken away from him.
"I'm sorry for everything. I know I had been a …" he stopped trying to look for the right words while I watched him, too stunned to utter a sentence.
The man standing in front of me was someone I wished to see every day. I was supposed to feel rage, burning anger at him but I felt none of that. Instead, I was numb. All the anger was drained from me. I just wanted to be home. All the suffering was catching up to me and I was honestly tired. I just wanted to lay in bed, have a good night's sleep which was devoid of nightmares, and wake up a smiling girl.
Or woman rather.
Maybe I should forgive him. My child deserves a pack to call his own and a father. I didn't even know what to think, about how Alexander would take the news that I was pregnant.
He walked closer to me, his face a blank sheet of paper. The way he moved, graceful which I was secretly jealous of, with poise and intent.
I gulped and took a step back. I just wanted it all to be over.
"Say something, Sophia," the way my name rolled off his tongue made me squirm in my position, the sound doing more harm than good to me.
"You don't expect me to forgive you for all you did even while knowing I was your mate, you let them treat me the way they did. Did you ever for once think about how I must have felt?" The anger came back in full force and I began to wonder about the devil that made me think it would be wise to forgive him so easily.
"I'm sorry. When you left, I realized I couldn't do without you and then, Ryven informed me you didn't want to have anything to do with me." He said. If he was surprised I knew about him knowing I was his mate before I turned eighteen, he didn't show it.
"Yes, I didn't. Do you have any idea what I went through there?" My eyes watered and the damn tears threatened to spill after lodging in my eyes for days without showing itself.
I watched in anger while his eyes slowly gave off the light of regret to be replaced by anger. It would have been funny only if it wasn't because of the situation I was in.
"What did that bastard do to you?!" He growled, the color of his eyes changing to that of his wolf's and I sneered.
"Funny how you are no different from him," I balled my fists. "What did you expect? For him to take me as his Luna immediately I walked into his pack? You must really be delusional."
"Ryven promised he wouldn't harm you. And I would be a fool to let this slide," he ignored my comment and turned around, heading for the door. His words carried the promise of revenge as it hung in the air like a thick blanket.
"Don't touch him." I heard myself say while he turned to me, disbelief on his face.
"Would you rather he goes scott-free after treating you like you don't matter?"
I smirked, my eyes lacking warmth, "Yes, at least he was better than you, my supposed mate who ought to protect me!" I snapped and his jaw ticked violently. "If you start a war, you're never seeing me or…" I stopped before I could mention the fact that I was carrying his child.