Forbidden Desire

I couldn’t believe it when I heard my name and Jihoon pulled me towards him, hugging me while I jumped for joy. The audience started applauding, and the critics came over to congratulate me, showering praise on my painting and also giving me suggestions for technique improvements, which were very well received. I received a small sculpture-shaped award and lifted it up, celebrating my victory once again. When we finally left the stage and headed to the adjacent room, Jihoon hugged me, lifting me off the ground, and I couldn’t get enough of it. He looked around, and we heard some people from the next room calling his name, so he took my hand, and we ran out of there like two teenagers. He grabbed the phone and dialed a number.

“Employee exit door in three.”

I didn’t understand anything, just followed him, laughing, knowing that just like on the first day, I would follow him anywhere. When we reached the door at the back of the venue, there was already a car waiting for us. He opened the door for me to get in, and soon some photographers caught up to us, seeing both of us getting into the car together, which then drove away.

“Phew… That was close…”

He seemed relieved, and I started laughing like crazy, still not believing what had just happened. I stared at the award in my hand, and it felt like a dream.

“I can’t believe it, Ji… I won!”

I was still in disbelief, and he looked at me, seeming so proud, which made me even happier.

“I told you everything would work out, didn’t I?”

I nodded, looking at him, unable to stop smiling.

“Yes, you did, and I should have trusted… You always save me no matter what the situation… You’re always by my side when I need you the most… You almost seem like my guardian angel.”

“Angel, I’m not sure, but I liked hearing you say that I’m like a sun to you.”

“You’re my sun, Jihoon.”

I was smiling, but I noticed his gaze shifted from my eyes to my mouth, and I shivered. He brought one of his hands to my face, caressing it, making me close my eyes to savor his touch. When I opened my eyes again, I realized he seemed mesmerized, just like I was. He traced his thumb over my lips, and when he brought his full lips close to mine, I didn’t resist at all. I stayed still for a few seconds, surprised by the warmth of his lips; they were succulent and extremely warm. His lips touched mine for a few seconds before pulling away as if assessing my reaction, and when I realized it, I had my hands on his face, pulling him back to me. At that moment, I seemed to forget everything, as if nothing existed outside of that car. I sucked on his lips, tasting their sweet flavor and feeling the warmth of his body. He placed his hand on the nape of my neck, deepening our kiss, and I went wild when I felt his tongue timidly, carefully, but with so much passion, invading my mouth. I went crazy just with a kiss from him. I had never felt lips so warm, and I had never received such an urgent kiss. He seemed to want to devour me, and for a few seconds, I wished he really would, but in a moment of lucidity, I remembered all the reasons why I shouldn’t be doing this and gathered the strength to break our kiss. I only pulled our lips apart, keeping our foreheads together, and he left a peck on my lips, leaving me wanting more, but I couldn’t.

“Ji… I’m sorry… I can’t…”

We had our eyes closed, and when he left another kiss on my lips, I ended up sucking his lips again until we ran out of breath.

“Sorry, Jane… It’s getting harder every day to pretend that I don’t want to do this every time I see you…”

He kissed me again, and I clung to his hair, devouring him, but soon stopped.

“No! Sorry… I… I love Jason…”

“But you also feel something for me… It’s clear every time you look at me… Every time we’re alone… Jane, we were already kissing each other with our eyes long before our lips touched…”

He tried to kiss me again, but this time, I thought about the one thing that really mattered.All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.

“Jihoon… I… I’m with Jason…”

“For how long, Jane? After what he did today, are you still going to be with him?”

“I… I don’t know, Ji… I don’t know what happened… He might have had some problem…”

“What else do you need to know, Jane? He went after the other one who never valued him… He left you alone, and if it depended on him, you would have lost the contest.”

“I know, but…”

“For how long are you going to do this, Jane?”

He looked at me, seeming disappointed, and it broke my heart.

“Do what?”

“Accepting someone’s love crumbs who doesn’t deserve you… You deserve someone who prioritizes you… Who’s always by your side… Who would do anything for you…”

He paused, his voice faltering as he lowered his head. When he looked back at me, his eyes were full of emotion.

“I can be that person for you, Jane! I can give you a whole love… Just yours…”

I was completely still, listening to those words, and when I finally managed to snap out of the trance he had put me in, I shook my head in denial while caressing his face with one of my hands.

“Ji… I wish things were that easy and I really wish I had met you first because I know I would have fallen in love with you… But I fell in love with him, and now I’m expecting a child.”

“A child you haven’t even talked about yet because you’re afraid of his reaction…”

I lowered my head, and he sighed as if he realized he had gone too far.

“Sorry… I shouldn’t have said that…”

“It’s okay… Just… Just take me home, please…”

He just nodded, instructing the driver to take us home. The rest of the way was in silence, but even then, not for a second did I try to leave his embrace, and I couldn’t let go of his hand either…

I didn’t know what I would find when I got home… I didn’t know if Jason would already be back, I didn’t know what mood he would be in, I didn’t know what excuse he would give… I wasn’t sure about anything. When Jihoon’s car parked, I saw from afar that Jason’s car was already here, so he had already returned. Before getting out, I felt Jihoon’s hand gently squeezing mine to get my attention, and when I looked at him, I saw how sincere he was.

“Jane… I just want you to know that I’m here. Not only for you but also for your child… If you need anything, just call me, okay?”

I nodded, caressing his hand with my thumb.

“Thank you because I don’t want to be without you in my life.”

“You won’t be… I promise…”

“About what happened today…”

“Hey, it’s okay… I always knew you were in love with Jason… But it was still worth trying.”

He smiled, and I ended up smiling back.

“Thank you for everything, Ji…”

“No need to thank me… But remember what I told you about the Sunflower?”

He handed me the bouquet, and I admired it once again, seeing how beautiful it was.

“Be like the Sunflower and always seek your happiness…”

He left a kiss on my forehead, and I just nodded.

“See you tomorrow?”

He nodded and smiled. I finally got out of the car, and as I started climbing the stairs, I felt a knot in my stomach. I had a bad feeling and really wanted to believe that it was nothing, but part of me knew that something bad was happening; I just didn’t know what. I reached the pool area and saw Jason sitting there in one of the chairs with a glass of whisky in his hand, as he always did when he was sad. But this time, he seemed totally broken, as if a truck had run over him… His tie was loosened, and his blazer was completely unbuttoned. I approached him and saw tears in his eyes, and my heart ached. He looked at me, and it was as if staring at me hurt him. I tried to approach him with a weak smile, trying to show him that I wasn’t upset that he hadn’t come… Although I was sad with him, I had a guilty conscience for kissing G. I didn’t want to argue, so I said weakly.

“I won the contest…”

I showed him the small statue, and he looked at me with a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes. I had never seen him so broken like this, not even on the night Jinhee left, and it was already making me desperate.

“What happened, love? Did you manage to get her out of the police station?”

He started crying even more and lowered his head.

“Hey… It’s okay… Did you leave her at a hotel?”

Before I could continue, a familiar voice was present, and I felt like I was losing my ground.

“Jason, which room can I stay in?”

When she realized I was there, she stopped talking and greeted me with a sad voice.

“Oh… Hi, Jane…”

I looked at Jason, seeking explanations, unable to believe that he had brought her here, but he seemed completely desperate, not knowing what to do.

“She… She’s pregnant, Jane…”