Mine for a Moment

“See, Ezra?” Mom says over video call as I separate egg yolks and whites absent-mindedly. “He was like that during our last video call too, and there was something off about him at Celeste’s wedding.”

Ezra glances up at me and raises a brow in question, having gotten used to my family and the madness that is our Sunday cooking class. He joins me most weeks, and over the years, he’s pretty much become one of us. Sometimes he even dials in from overseas, just to catch up with my family. He hasn’t said much, but I know he’s been as worried about Celeste as I’ve been.

“He seems the same as usual to me,” he says, before continuing to knead dough per Mom’s instructions.

“No, he is acting a bit off,” Celeste adds, peeking at me from behind Mom. “He’s quieter than usual.”

“So are we all just going to continue talking about me like I’m not here?”

My sister shrugs. “You might as well not be. You’ve barely said three words, and Mom has had to repeat the recipe three times. Seriously, what’s up with you?”

I glance at Ezra, guilt settling deep in my stomach. He can never know that I’m silently counting down the minutes until he leaves for his next business trip, so I can invite his little sister over and finally kiss her, slide my hand underneath her skirt like I’ve been wanting to, and listen to her panting my name. I haven’t been able to think about anything but her, and it’s driving me crazy. It’s been so long since someone occupied my mind like that, and I’m not sure how to feel about it.

“Nothing is up with me,” I reply, irritated that she called me out. “What’s up with you? How is married life treating you? Considering that I haven’t seen an obituary for Zane yet, things must be going well enough.”

Celeste’s eyes flash with anger, and I grin to myself. It’s been years since I last saw real emotions in her eyes. The irritation in her expression is a far cry from the listlessness I’d grown used to.

“Which reminds me,” Ezra says. “I’m really sorry I missed your wedding, Celeste. If I could’ve rescheduled my trip, I would have, but it’s just such a big client.”

“I gave you little to no notice, Ezra. I completely understand.” She throws him a sweet smile, and he glances at me in shock, his eyes widening just a touch. I nod subtly, trying my best not to chuckle. “That’s something she does now,” I whisper. “Smiling.”

Obvious relief crosses his face, and it only heightens the guilt that’s tugging at me. Ezra would never forgive me if he had the slightest inkling of the direction my thoughts continue to take.

I sit back as he chats with my family, making up for my silence and keeping them occupied with questions about the wedding ceremony as we finish the pie we’re making. All the while, I try my best not to think about Serenity and the way she looked at me that night I had her in my lap. Coffee dates, talking until the sun rises, making out in the back seat of a car, and being truly wanted. This thing between us isn’t supposed to be more than sex, but fuck, I want to be the one she does all of that with.

“So what’s going on with you?” Ezra asks, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I glance at him only to realize that the call ended. I didn’t even notice Ezra putting the pie in the oven. “What do you mean?”

He smirks as he walks over to my fridge and grabs a beer. “They’re right, you know. You’ve been acting weird for a couple of weeks now.”

“Weeks?” I repeat, confused.

He nods and takes a swig. “Initially I thought you didn’t like having Serenity around, but in hindsight, you’ve been acting a bit weird since before she moved here.”

I tense involuntarily and force a smile. Things haven’t been the same since the night I wrapped my arms around your little sister as she cried her heart out, and I realized how fucking beautiful she is. “I’m just worried about the complaints we’ve been getting about the new point-of-sale system we rolled out,” I tell him, the words feeling deceptive.

Ezra’s relaxedness melts away, and he sighs as he runs a hand through his hair. “It’s been a fucking nightmare,” he admits. “I’m tired of having to troubleshoot setups at client sites, but I have to be there in person to show our clients how important they are to us.”

“I’d go if I could, but I honestly just don’t know the system as well as you do.” Ezra has always loved the tech behind our products, while I’ve always loved running and growing our business. We complement each other perfectly, but it’s hard for us to step into each other’s shoes. Our business is one of many reasons why I never should’ve said yes to Serenity.

Ezra glances at me then, pausing. “I know,” he says, sighing. “Normally I wouldn’t have minded, but I’m worried about Serenity. I’d hoped she’d join us today, but she’s barely even left her room since she got here. I think Theo moving in with his girlfriend hit her quite hard.” He takes another swig of his beer and grimaces.

I walk over to the fridge and grab a beer of my own, unease settling in my gut. The thought of her wanting Theo when it’s my bed she’s in doesn’t sit well with me at all, but I knew what I signed up for. “She’ll get over him soon enough.”

Ezra throws me a look. “Did you forget that we had to watch your sister be utterly heartbroken for years? And then there’s you. You haven’t been yourself in so long either. Do you even remember the last time you laughed?” He sighs and looks down. “Fuck, I don’t want to see Serenity lose that spark in her eyes.”

I clench my jaw and lean back against the counter. “It’s different. Zane never had eyes for anyone but Celeste, not even when they were kids. Theo never loved Serenity like that, and once she’s experienced being with someone who genuinely sees and values her, she’ll get over him. Hell, she’ll wonder what she ever even saw in him in the first place.” All the while, I don’t point out that he’s barely smiled since Tyra went missing. I don’t think he even realizes that he, too, is a shell of the person he used to be.

“Maybe.” He knocks back his drink, his gaze lingering on my face. “You’ll look out for her, right? When I’m not here?”

My stomach twists, but still, I nod. “Of course,” I promise, the words tasting bitter on my tongue.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.