Resisting the Alpha Triplets by Cara Anderson

Ch. 35 Find A Way

Colton’s POVCòntens bel0ngs to Nô(v)elDr/a/ma.Org

“Fuuuck!” I roared, the sound echoing off the walls of my office.

I couldn’t stop seeing the hurt and humiliation on Mallory’s face when I refused to acknowledge our bond and it gutted me. I hated myself for hurting her, a sentiment my wolf did not hesitate to share.

“You hurt mate, asshole!” Kai charged. “Find her and fix it!”

“You think I don’t want that?” I laid into him. “You think I don’t want her with every breath I take, every beat of my heart? She’s all I want! Even before the mate bond! But it’s not that fucking simple. I made promises!”

I fucking ached for her. It took everything I had not to pull her into my arms, sink my teeth into her neck and make her mine right there in the woods. I would have fallen at her feet and begged if I had to, if that’s what it took to make her accept me. But I couldn’t do any of those things because I already belonged to someone else.

I loved Darcy. She was a wonderful girl and so easy to love. But I was beginning to realize, all too late, that I wasn’t in love with her.

I admired her quiet strength and gentle spirit, and while Mallory was away, it was easy to convince myself that what I felt for her was romantic love. But the minute Mallory stepped through the packhouse door the night of her homecoming dinner, I knew I’d been lying to myself.

Sure I’d fought it, refused to admit my feelings. I thought if I could keep seeing Darcy, pretend like nothing had changed, I could recapture some semblance of what I thought I’d felt for her. But the mate bond snapping into place destroyed any chance of that.

Now, the best I could hope for was to find a way to keep my promise and be a good partner to her. I knew it would mean betraying my own heart every day for the rest of my life but that was my cross to bear. The more difficult task would be getting my wolf on board..

“Break your promise!” Kai growled at my feeble excuse. “Nothing is more important than our mate, not even your pride!”

“Pride? You think this is about my fucking pride?” I asked incredulously. ” Who gives a fuck about my pride. This is about her! Her pride, wanting her to have a mate she can be proud of,

“Don’t you see what I’ve done? I’ve all but made a formal announcement that Darcy will be my Luna. What kind of man does it make me if I go back on my word?

“Why would Mallory want a mate who breaks his commitments, has no sense of loyalty or duty? If I stay with Darcy, I obviously won’t have Mallory. But even if I break up with Darcy, Mallory won’t want me. I would only shame her. I fucked myself with the idiotic prejudices that led me to Darcy in the first place.”

“Mate is perfect! And strong! She won’t care what anyone thinks as long as we love her.” He argued.

I was about to tell him how little I needed him to remind me how perfect our mate was when a knock on my office door interrupted our mental exchange.

“Son, open the door. We need to talk.” My mother’s voice held concern but it was a command nonetheless.

“It’s not a good time. Mom.” I scrubbed a hand over my face, trying to clear my head as I opened the door to her.

“We never think it’s a good time to face our mistakes. But it’s necessary. You and I are long overdue for this conversation.”

She strolled in and made herself comfortable, patting the spot beside her on the sofa for me to come sit beside her.

“Sit. Talk.” She ordered, letting just enough of her Luna tone filter through to tell me it wasn’t optional. “Tell me why you’ve always fought so hard against your attraction to Mallory. And why in Goddess’ name haven’t you accepted your bond?”

“You-, you knew?” I stuttered, gobsmacked by that revelation.

“Of course I knew!” She exclaimed. ” I’m a mother. Mothers see so much more than their children imagine they do. What I’ve never understood is why?”

I shook my head and sighed. Knowing I was going to hate answering that question but also knowing I had no choice. She was going to be so ashamed of me when I admitted the truth but no more so than I was of myself.

“I’m the oldest.” I shrugged, as if that explained it all, and to her it probably did. “Dad always said that since I was the oldest, it was my job to protect my brothers, to set an example for them to follow. I wanted to be perfect so he would be proud of me. So he would know he could trust me with the pack.”

“Colton.” Mom breathed my name shakily, reaching out to hold my hands in hers, “Your dad is an amazing Alpha and I love him with all my heart. But son, he is nowhere close to perfect and he certainly never expected you to be. But I don’t understand what that has to do with Mallory.”

“In order to be a strong Alpha you need a strong Luna, son.” I deepened my voice, adding a gruff quality that mimicked my father’s. “Dad repeated that to me over and over again growing up. Mallory was an Omega, or so I thought. Omega’s weren’t strong enough to be Luna’s. So when I realized I couldn’t stop thinking about her, found myself watching her every move, I knew I had to shut it down. There was no sense getting involved when there could be no future for us.

“So I ignored her. It was difficult at first, but then I met Darcy. She seemed to be everything a Luna should be, from Alpha blood, patient, kind, well- spoken. I asked her out immediately. I liked her well enough when we started dating but it wasn’t enough to keep my mind off Mallory. I was both furious and relieved the day you announced you were sending her to Luna Training.”

“Shame on you, Colton.” Mom wore that disappointed look all children cowered under. “Your father and I both always taught you not to judge people’s worth by their designation. You know that. So you should have also known he never meant an Omega couldn’t be a strong Luna.”

“I never said Omega’s don’t have worth, Mother! But worth and strength, the strength it takes to be a good Luna are two different things. I mean, how many Omega Luna’s do you know?” I snapped, aggravation seeping into my tone.

“I know one.” Mom said cryptically. ” Am I not a strong enough Luna, son?”

“What?” My head snapped up to search her eyes for the lie, eyes the same as mine.

Mom sat quietly beside me while I felt everything I thought I knew about my life fall away. I made decisions that directed the course of my whole life based on a belief that had absolutely no basis in reality. She squeezed my hand as the tears came hot and fast.

“I’m so sorry, son. Fate can be a tricky little bitch sometimes.” She brushed my overgrown hair out of my eyes and tipped my head up by my chin. “But it is never too late to fix your mistakes. Do the right thing, Colton. I know you’ll find a way.”

She leaned in and planted a kiss on my forehead then got up and walked out the door.

“Fuck!” I picked up a crystal vase from the shelf and flung it against the wall, not even flinching when the shattered pieces flew back and cut my arm.

Blood dripped down my arm as I stood frozen in place, just listening to the pitter patter of it splashing to the floor. I couldn’t move, couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. What the fuck had I done?

The one woman I wanted, always had if I was honest with myself, was actually the best one for me and the pack. But I let prejudice blind me into choosing someone else, a prejudice I had no fucking right to. It was poetic justice to learn I had Omega blood myself. And to add insult to injury, she wasn’t even an Omega after all.

Mallory was an Alpha, an heiress to a pack of her own. She’d just learned her entire life was a lie, that her mother wasn’t really her family at all. I’d watched as each new revelation slowly broke her until she couldn’t take in another detail and ran from her pain.

I was her mate! I should have gone after her, been there for her when she needed me. But instead, my brothers got that privilege. Because I lost all rights to that gift when I turned my back on her the minute I recognized our bond.

“What a fucking mess you’ve made, Colton.” I berated myself.

“A mess you’d better fix!” My wolf warned..

Shit! Darcy! How was I going to tell Darcy I’d met my mate and that it was Mallory? It was hard enough to keep my thinly veiled attraction for Mal under wraps. It would be even harder to hide with the mate bond between us, Especially when my wolf was dead set on claiming her.

“You will not touch Darcy again!” Kai snarled, unable to accept the thought of being with anyone but Mal.

“Kai-” I started trying to reason with him but he wouldn’t listen.

“No! She is not my mate and I won’t have her!” He roared in my head.

I sunk down into my office chair and hung my head in my hands, all the fight drained out of me. It was late and I was too tired to move. I must have fallen asleep at some point because I woke up with my cheek plastered to my desk and the sun shining in the window.

But if I thought the day was going to be any better, that idea went out the window the second I heard my brother’s voice in my head.

“Where the fuck are you? We need to talk.”