Chapter 0661
The boys let me have my space for much longer than I thought they would - for hours, really. I spend a long time in the bath, simmering and calming down before I begin to sort through my thoughts. Then, when I'm calm enough, I take each individual issue in turn, piece by piece. In time, each of the thoughts takes a new route, becomes a plan.
Eventually I get up and towel off, wrapping the towel warm around me. But even then I don't leave, pulling myself up onto the wide marble counter and putting my feet in the sink, resting my head against the mirror as I turn my plans over more and more, trying to see the flaws in them, trying to ensure that I pick the best route.
The only interruption is a harsh knock at the door at least an hour in - probably more - before the entrance cracks open and someone sends a cold plate of tacos skittering across the floor. The demand is clear in the action - eat, damn it.
I smirk, but do as I'm bid, getting up and gathering the dish. But I take it right back to my spot and eat quietly as I continue to plot and ponder.
It's quite late, really, when I come out of the bathroom and head into the nook. The room is already dark, the boys in bed.
"Finally," Jesse grumbles, immediately getting up and moving immediately for the bathroom. "Others need this space too, you know."
"Sorry," I call, my voice more even than it was before as I pick up the cadet handbook and carry it to my bed with me. But Jesse doesn't say anything in response.
He doesn't need to. I know he's not really mad.
I sigh and turn towards the nook, slipping in and quickly heading for my chest of drawers, pulling on a quick pair of underwear and pajamas before climbing into bed.
Jackson's awake, as I knew, and immediately opens his arms for me. I sigh and let him wrap me up, putting the book aside for a minute and resting my face against his blissfully-warm chest.
"I'm sorry," I whisper, thinking of Luca and how he, too, abandoned me when he was upset. I hope quite desperately that I didn't do the same to Jacks. "I hope that didn't upset you. I just...needed space to think."
"It's fine, Ariel," Jackson murmurs, pressing a kiss to my hair. "I was always ten feet away. I could feel you just needed to think. You're allowed to do that."
“I know,” I murmur, pressing myself tighter to his side. "I just don't want you to feel abandoned."
He growls, rolling me a bit so that I
rest fully on top of his chest and
stomach now, where I always end up sleeping and where I think he
likes me best. "That's not what
happened," he whispers. Then he hesitates. "Do you want to tell me
What that was all about?
"I do," I say quietly, a little whine in my voice. "But...I'm also scared that if I start talking about it I'll go to pieces." I sigh and let my eyes drift shut. "It's just been such a big day, Jacks. I feel like there is...so much on my plate."
He hums, understanding - as he always is. And I smile, turning my face a little to press a kiss to his chest. "Sleep, then. We'll talk in the morning."
I smile a little, snuggling closer. "Can we go for a run? In the dream scape?"
“Sure, babes," he murmurs, petting a hand over my hair. "Whatever makes you feel good works for me."
I nod, and sigh, not fully better yet
et
but...certainly getting there, with Jacks at my side. I wait a little bit until Jackson drifts off and then quickly pick up the cadet handbook and the little book light I got for Midwinter, flipping through a few pages and doing some light reading before I, too fall asleep.
I wake in the morning newly determined to enact my plan.
Which, unfortunately, makes me snappier than I'd like to be. Because even if a night of running with Jacks in the dream scape did a great deal to heal my exhausted little heart, after a night of thinking and dwelling on everything that Luca and Blythe and the Captain did and said...
God, but I'm pissed as hell. And kind of ready to let the world know about it.noveldrama
What do you think?
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