Chapter 0633
I straighten, frowning at Luca in turn, still completely shocked that the mood has changed so completely within the past thirty seconds and not liking at all where this is going. I straighten my shoulders, narrowing my eyes at my mate. "This isn't about what I do with Jackson," I snap, looking at him evenly. "I'm asking you about you. About your wolf."
Luca scowls, looking away from me and curling his shoulders inward, looking for all things...lost, and self-conscious. "Can we just...leave my wolf out of this?" he murmurs.
"Why?" I ask, barely a whisper.
"Because I asked you to," Luca snaps, glaring at me from the corner of his eye.noveldrama
I sit even straighter, staring at my mate, completely unused to being iced out like this. But as I watch him, I realize that Luca is being nasty to me right now because he's...hiding something. Because he's hurt, or afraid.
I tuck my own anger away, making a mental point to talk about this particular method of confrontation at a later time, and instead turning to the real problem at hand: the fact that I'm not sure I've...ever met Luca's wolf. Except that one time when he completely lost his cool the day he found out I have another mate - when he shifted, and he and Jacks attacked each other.
I stare at my mate, trying to figure it out as he stares moodily into the trees, working hard to control his breathing. As he does I concentrate on our bond, on my little rose-gold wolf whom I love so much, who is such a friend to me, as she nudges the bond with her nose, forcing it to become a bridge between our souls.
It's so much...harder than it is with Jackson, who has always been so open to me.
Luca flinches, turning to glare at me a little bit harder. "What are you doing?" he snarls.
I don't answer as my wolf moves slowly across the bond bridge to his side, nudging at the wall she finds there.
"Would you stop that?" he snaps.
I just turn my head and peer at him, totally confused and utterly curious. "Luca," I whisper, leaning forward and putting a hand on his arm. "She won't go any further if you don't want her to but...you should let us in."
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Luca snarls, looking away from us again, and to my shock tears start at the edges of his eyes. My wolf whines deep in her throat and curls up at the other edge of our bond, her body pressed warm against the wall in his soul. And I move closer to Luca, doing the same, lining my body up with his as close as he'll let me and putting my head on his shoulder, just...being near. Being close to my mate, who I love, but who I'm just now realizing has maybe never let me all the way in.
We stay that way for a long, long time, with me pressed warm against Luca's side. I can feel his chest hitching with held-back tears, can hear him sniffing, but I let him have his space, not acknowledging it.
"Look," Luca says when his breathing his calmer, though his voice is still choked. "I'm sorry - it's not your fault, okay? And it's not that I don't want to be close to you like that. I just...I can't."
"Okay," I whisper, doing my best to understand as my wolf turns again towards the wall and prods it with her nose But even as she does, we can feel that the wall is Luca's that he put it up. That he strengthens and weakens it at will to decide which emotions to pass me, and which words.
And right now, it's adamantine - stone and iron, with nothing coming through.
But still, it's his. So it's not that he can't...it's that he won't.
“I just...” Luca murmurs, shaking his head and hanging it low. "My wolf isn't like other people's wolves, okay? He's not...safe.”
"What do you mean?" I whisper, scared for his sake.
Luca looses a long breath, tears again slipping from his eyes. My wolf lets out a little howl, calling to his over and through the wall, desperate for him to hear it.
But I don't say a word, letting Luca have the air.
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