Chapter 0634
"When I was a kid," Luca whispers, still not looking at me. "My wolf was...wild. Completely out of control."
My hand tightens around his arm in what I hope is an encouraging gesture.
"He would just...flip out," Luca whispers. "Make me do all sorts of insane things. Like I would just...shift. In the kindergarten classroom." He glances over at me, I think embarrassed to say it. "And just run around tearing things to pieces. When I could hold back the shift - which was rare - he would just constantly howl in my mind and distract me and do all sorts of ridiculous stuff. It was...horrible. And everyone knew."
I think back, as Luca takes a moment to collect his thoughts, to all the times when Luca has told me about his troubled childhood, how angry he was after his dad left, how alone and trouble he felt. But I hadn't realized that his wolf had been part of it.
"My uncle helped me," Luca said, sniffing hard and raising a hand to wipe at his face. "It was the only thing that worked, and it was way too late," he shakes his head. "A strict regimen. Working out so much before and after school that I didn't have the energy to shift. And then keeping a strict, strict leash on my wolf," he says, turning to me, his eyes sad, almost as if he knows what I'm thinking when he says that.
Because a leash on my wolf...god, the thought of it. I mean, I know wolves need discipline so that we can live normal lives but...leashed? My wolf shakes her fur at the thought of it and I run a mental hand over her sweet face, down her neck.
Never, never, I whisper to her. And she licks my hand once before turning back to the wall, licking that too.
"You don't understand," Luca murmurs, hanging his head again, shaking it. "I'm...I'm chaos, without my wolf under strict control. And I'm not letting him out around you."
"Out from where?" I whisper, desperate to know.
"From...deep down," Luca murmurs, frowning at the words as he says them. "Where I...keep him."
Something horrible pangs in me as I realize that that's how Luca's been containing his wolf since childhood. That he didn't go to a therapist, as my brother Mark did when his own wolf was rambunctious and disruptive, learning how to talk and negotiate and understand his wolf's needs, balancing them with his own. That instead Luca just...shoved his wolf down by force. Made him submit.
“Luca,” I say, lifting my head to look him steadily in the eyes. "Take down the wall."
"Ariel,” he growls, shaking his head vehemently. "I can't -"
"Take it down, say, soft. And when he doesn't move, I reach for him, cupping his cheek in my palm, leaning close. "You're my mate," whisper. "You're mine, which means he's mine too. Take down the wall."
Luca pauses, not even breathing.
And then, with a long and shuddering breath, the wall at the other end of my bond with Luca crumbles to the ground. My wolf rises to her feet and softly pads forward, her head low, searching.
But fortunately, it doesn't take long to find him - despite Luca's insistence that his wolf is tucked away, deep down...the poor darling wants to be found.
My wolf head turns instantly when she hears his soft whine, her eyes narrowing as she peers into the darkness towards the sound. When the whine sounds again and she trots forward, sniffing hard, searching.noveldrama
And it's only when her paw lands on soft fur that she looks down and realizes that he's...right there. As we peer into the darkness, Luca's breath catches in his throat as two rich brown eyes open in his soul and his wolf peers up at mine, frightened.
“Oh, Luca,” I sigh, reaching for him, climbing into his lap as my wolf lowers her muzzle and nudges his wolf, just behind the ear, encouraging him to stand up.
“Don't, Ari,” Luca whispers, shaking his head even as he wraps his arms tight around me, frightened. “He's going to hurt her."
"Oh, don't worry about my wolf," I murmur, raising my head and running my fingers through his soft hair. "She's made of tough stuff." "Still -"
“Shh," I say, continuing to scratch his scalp softly with my nails but resting my head against his and closing my eyes, concentrating on our wolves.
Slowly, Luca's wolf gets to his feet and my wolf peers curiously at him as he stumbles a few steps, like he hasn't gotten up in a long time, and then shakes himself. My wolf steps back a bit, surprised to see that he's he's covered in mud, op whatever the equivalent of that in Luca's soul is. She steps forward, sniffing, giving him a little nudge.
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